Day Lockheart

Prior to this, I have already drafted my resolutions and reflections. But those are not gonna be here, because there’s more important things than those. This year hasn’t been smooth sailing, and I can genuinely say that I liked 2007 more than 2008. It is because of the people, the events, the occurrences, the changes, and myself.

My Belief: Borrowed Time

I nearly got myself killed 3 times this year in traffic accidents. And one of the 3 times, it was Chunhui who saved me from an incoming car I did not notice. I’m not of any religion, but I would just want to thank god, whoever you may be. I thought I lost faith in god when I lost faith in religion, but it was also this year which I realized that god exists if I choose to. I can thank him for so many things, yet I would curse at him for many others. If I am living on borrowed time, I hope I can stay on to live my life out usefully. However much I have borrowed, I will return it with what I can do.

My Passion: Lost, Found, Where To?

This was largely inspired by my hairdresser yesterday when I went for a haircut.

In our conversation, I got to know that he was a musician when he was young. Then I began to wonder: “wow, life is effin’ cruel, why don’t people ever get to realize their dreams?”

I was wrong, when he told me that he would spend hours styling his hair before performances. It made sense to me, yet it brought shame to me. Questions I often asked myself… Why can’t I ever excel in one area? I never got far with drama nor dance. Studies are so-so. What have I been doing in my life?

If you love something, you probably will put your heart and soul into it. I haven’t found what I am looking for, but I haven’t gave up. I will never give up. I just need to have more discipline and better time management.

My Friends: Can We Really Go The Distance?

(…)

Relationship: Maybe Yes, Maybe No

I was a strong believer in love, a hopeless romantic, a dreamer. I think I lost that this year, and I’m sure I don’t want it back. Some nights get lonely, some days are really dry, but I still got through all of the 365 days given to me this year.

Yes, some feelings are still there. Leftovers from this year, but when I wake up the next morning, when 8 becomes 9, no more. I need that breathing space in my life.

People I’m Glad I’ve Met This Year

OG15 & Yanshan, Dixon, Ivy, Wanqing
Shadows (Namely: Egoh, Celisse, Teekai, Gadis, Aiksong, Janice, Jerome, Syira, Jasper, Junjie)
Leaders (Too many!)
(… & others I am not naming)

Plans

1. Finish Orientation
2. Consistent Studying
3. Take good care of things at home when mom is overseas
4. Healthier lifestyle
(…)

And happy new year to everyone!

It is perhaps the most difficult job on earth to have your friends get over a broken-relationship. You can’t tell them outright that they are pathetic for brooding over it, and consolation never seem to work very well, simply because a certain warmth is gone. What people do not notice is that, the warmth is already winter prior to the break-up. Here’s an illustration:

The basis of this graph is based on a saying that goes “all good things must come to an end”, which is why the values of the x-axis is not stated. As for the values on the y-axis, 25% is the maximum when lovey-dovey relationships are compared with the good things in life.

As we reach the end of the curve, 2 things can happen: break-up or get hitched (which is obviously putting your single-hood at risk). It cannot be the latter, since my friends would put that last on their list for now (under-age!) but they couldn’t bear to break-up either. It is the symptom of being obsessive, wanting something to be around when you need it… a backup.

Repercussions

So when one broke-up with another, and regrets/misses (etc.), there’s many repercussions:
1. Begins to look unattractive, and pathetic later.
2. Irritates your friends who tries to cheer you up, but to no avail.
3. You probably smell, since you are probably too unmotivated to clean up yourself
4. You can’t even enjoy a proper love song cause every ‘you’ in the lyrics is specifically referring to someone.

Life is more than just that phase of affection that you can live without. Be awesome!